Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
