i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
