Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
