apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
