i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize