I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
