I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
