I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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