i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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