He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
