he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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