have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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