HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
