i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
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his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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