i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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