Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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