Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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