i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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