I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
