i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
