Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I didn't notice because vodka
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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