Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
