Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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