flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
