is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
