Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
