they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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