So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
