I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
