found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
