Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize