Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
