WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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