I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
