So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
