The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
