BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
