All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
