she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
