meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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