chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
