HIV tests are more positive than that guy
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
