just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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