remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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