I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
