I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
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We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
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If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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