party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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