You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
