Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
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Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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