mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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