how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
