Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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