Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
