Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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