if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She bit a glass in half.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
