What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
