I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
