They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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