i don't like sucking hair
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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