Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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