just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
