AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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