She's like a pop up book from hell.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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