we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
