fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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