So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
